


Don't be so Pathetic

by dwaekki



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26146141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwaekki/pseuds/dwaekki
Summary: It had always been Hyunjin, Jeongin,andSeungmin. That's just how things were meant to be.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 1
Kudos: 76





	Don't be so Pathetic

"Hyunjin! Jinnie! Look, let's watch them!" Jeongin said, and he was pulling Hyunjin before Hyunjin could even _look_. Luckily, he had been leaning into Seungmin to mutter something about wanting to try the various snacks from vendors down the street, and was right there to catch Seungmin's hand before Jeongin pulled him too far -- and then it was Jeongin dragging Hyunjin, and Hyunjin dragging Seungmin, and none of them truly caught up to each other until Jeongin stopped.

It was a group of dancers that caught Jeongin's eye. He, Hyunjin, and Seungmin found an empty spot just behind them to squeeze into and watch. Seungmin pulled his face mask out of his pocket when he noticed how many cameras were around. Jeongin was too excited to notice, but Seungmin knew he'd want one, too, if he saw the cameras. He reached into his backpack to pull his extra one out, and he handed it to Hyunjin, who automatically draped it over Jeongin's ear, and hooked it over his mouth. Jeongin tugged it down beneath his nose, and excitedly told Hyunjin, "They're dancing to Sunmi's songs!"

They were holding hands, Hyunjin and Jeongin. They were freely holding each other's hands, and Hyunjin was leaning his chin over Jeongin's shoulder to hear him as he rambled on about how much he loved dance groups like this, and how much he adored the one his friends from high school were in. His eyes lit up in different ways-- back and forth as his glances moved from the dance group to Hyunjin; and they shined more when he looked at Hyunjin.

In the end, Seungmin had watched Hyunjin and Jeongin far more than he had watched the dance group. He hoped the cameras didn't catch him staring at his best friends the way he did; he hoped Jeongin didn't look up this video on YouTube later; he hoped Jeongin would pay too much attention to the group to see him, if he did. He looked love-struck, and he knew it without seeing it, because he _felt_ the same exact way.

"Did you like them, Seungmin?" Hyunjin asked, slinging an arm around Seungmin's shoulder as the three of them began to walk away from the dance group-- Hyunjin's stomach, for the most part, pulling them away. Jeongin looked at Seungmin, too, excitedly waiting for his opinion about the dance group. He hated to lie, so he didn't-- "Honestly, they didn't catch my interest much. I think I was a little distracted, though."

"Oh," Jeongin muttered softly, disappointed, and Seungmin hated to make him feel like that. He reached across Hyunjin to touch Jeongin's elbow, fingers easily hooking around his skin for just a moment, though he pulled back before he spoke so as to not make it difficult for Hyunjin to walk. "I was just hungry, Innie, I couldn't focus much."

"Hm," Jeongin hummed, and beamed, "You'll have to watch their videos with me sometimes, then! Or we'll have to come back-- huh!-- Jinnie, Minnie, will you come back with me?"

"Of course," Seungmin said, and he was sure Hyunjin said something similar, but he didn't hear. Jeongin made an excited noise, and, in his excitement, he grabbed Hyunjin's hand again. Seungmin watched their palms mold together, and soon watched their fingers interlock. Seungmin thought about Hyunjin's hand on his shoulder, and wanted to reach up and lace their fingers together, too. It would be comfortable. It would be _natural_ , almost; he knew Hyunjin wouldn't mind, and Jeongin surely wouldn't either. But Seungmin did.

☁

Seungmin went to work on Thursday night with a heavy heart and no energy for Han Jisung.

"We have to tune the guitars today. And! We should be promoting the records. Jinyoung didn't say we _had_ to, but it would be nice. We've only sold a few this week, and it's almost Friday." Jisung blabbed. Seungmin just hummed, hoping a sound of agreement would get Jisung to stop talking. He should know better. Jisung looked at Seungmin for a second, and he knew something was wrong: "You okay?"

"No. Hyunjin and Jeongin;" and that's all Seungmin had the energy to say. Jisung pouted, and he held out his arms, but Seungmin didn't fall into him. He turned and headed for the guitars to tune them, just like Jisung had said. Jisung followed him, and the two of them actually did get to work, but not without talking, courtesy of Han Never-Shuts-Up Jisung: "Hyunjin and Jeongin... what?"

"They're just -- Hyunjin and Jeongin." Seungmin said. Jisung laughed a bit, like he knew--and he did _know_ , but he didn't _understand_. He was in a happy-go-lucky relationship with Lee Felix and, honestly, it was pissing Seungmin off to think about it. He took a moment to breathe so he didn't take his frustrations out on Jisung. Intentionally or not, Jisung gave him that moment of peace, but he spoke once Seungmin's breath was up: "Did they do something?"

"They're just making me fall in love with them, like usual." Seungmin said, letting his hands fall from the strings of the guitar because he just couldn’t focus on his work right now. His gaze went to Jisung instead, "You know, I just really, _really_ wanted to hold Hyunjin's hand when we went out this weekend."

"He probably wanted to hold your hand, too, Seungmin." Jisung said, which earned him a groan. Seungmin gave himself another moment; his fingers returned to the guitar strings because, as much as his mind didn't _want_ to work, it needed to, and his body knew he had to.

"You know what I mean, Jisung."

"I know you hate hearing it--"

"So don't say it." Seungmin snapped. Jisung pouted his bottom lip, and he rolled his eyes around as he waited for what he _knew_ Seungmin was going to say. Seungmin sometimes hated how much Jisung knew him, but he couldn't stop himself from apologizing if he tried. "I'm sorry."

Jisung hummed. Seungmin _absolutely despised_ how much Jisung knew him. It only took him another moment to crack: "Fine. Say it."

"You need to have a little bit of courage." Jisung muttered.

"It's how you got Felix--I know. _Trust me_ , I know," Seungmin said. He strummed a few strings of the nearest guitar just to calm himself down. He and Jisung still had a handful of things to do before more customers flooded in; he couldn't afford to be this distracted; he just couldn't get his head on straight, not when he tried to imagine himself with Jeongin and Hyunjin the way Jisung was with Felix; "It's not the same. Felix is _one_ guy. Hyunjin and Jeongin are a _couple_. Courage isn't going to get me anywhere with two people who are committed to each other."

"They're committed to you, too, Seungmin." Jisung said, placing a hand on Seungmin's back as he passed by. "I heard the front bell ring -- I'll promote the records. Finish tuning the guitars for me?"

"Sure." Seungmin mumbled. The guilt of _I’m way too mean to Jisung sometimes_ settled in the pit of his stomach as soon as Jisung walked away, but Seungmin distracted himself by tuning the guitars, and thinking about anything other than Hyunjin and Jeongin. He played songs in his head, imagined what he would say to promote the records, and thought about what he might do when he went home that night. Anything, except for Hyunjin and Jeongin. Anything at all.

☁

“You think being mad at me is the way to go right now, huh?”

“I’m not _mad_ at you, Jeongin, I’m just seriously worried, and I’m frustrated that you won’t _talk to me_ about what’s going on! Let _someone_ be there for you for _once_ , Innie!”

“It’s just not something I want to talk about! I can deal with things by myself, you know. Just because I’m younger than you doesn’t mean you get to treat me like some stupid kid!”

“Jeongin! Me being worried and wanting to help you is _not_ me thinking you _can’t_ handle things on your own! It’s just me wanting to _help you_ because I’m your _boyfriend_ and that’s what couples are supposed to do!”

“Couples are also supposed to be able to be together without _suffocating each other_.”

“Are you _serious_ right now? I’m _suffocating_ because I want to _help you_ , Jeongin?”

“You’re suffocating because you won’t let me deal with something by myself!”

“I _always_ let you deal with things by yourself! I’m just asking you to _please_ let me help you with _this one thing_. Shouldering everything isn’t good for you, Jeongin!”

“I’m fine!”

“No you’re not!”

“You don’t get to tell me that!”

Seungmin shouldn’t have repressed his Hyunjin and Jeongin thoughts at work; he couldn’t get them out of his head _at all_ by the time his shift was over, and that’s what brought him to their dorm room, with his ear pressed to the door as he listened to them bicker. The more he heard, the more he decided it wasn’t _bickering_ , and this argument they were having was about to turn into a full-blown fight. Seungmin knocked on the door. He didn’t want to be involved, per se, but he knew another presence would at least cool the two of them down, especially if it was _him_ , or someone else they knew.

Jeongin answered the door. His face was red and his eyes were teary, but he tried to hide it in front of Seungmin. Subtlety wasn’t his strong suit; he was way too excited when he greeted Seungmin, and he hugged him almost immediately. Plus, Seungmin gazed over his shoulder at Hyunjin, who had tears dripping down his cheeks. Even if he hadn’t been eavesdropping for the past two minutes, he could connect the dots.

“We missed you.” Jeongin said. He looked back at Hyunjin for a moment, but couldn’t stand to look at him for too long. That concerned Seungmin. The two of them had fought before -- hell, all _three_ of them had (that’s just what came with knowing someone so well), but it was so easy to forgive each other. Forgive-and-forget was a quick two-step process for them: talk, and then laugh, usually within an hour of the initial disagreement.

“What’s up with you two?” Seungmin asked, digging his nose into their business; as a concerned best friend, he knew he was allowed to do so. Jeongin shook his head, “Don’t ask,” but Hyunjin protested, “Why not? You seriously can’t talk about this?”

“Hyunjin, I don’t _want_ to talk about this anymore.” Jeongin said. Hyunjin’s jaw tightened up. Seungmin rubbed Jeongin’s shoulder, “Innie, it’s just us.”

“It’s not _you_ , it’s just;” and Jeongin paused for a moment, rolling up his frustrated eyes as he thought about what to say. Seungmin figured it would help if he was honest, even if it risked Hyunjin and Jeongin getting mad at him, given that they were already so heated from their argument: “I know. I heard a little bit about what you were arguing about. I might’ve, um, been standing outside for a couple minutes.”

He made both of them laugh, which was relieving. Jeongin called him an idiot, and Hyunjin asked why he hadn’t just come inside instead of listening to them yell at each other. Seungmin shrugged, “I’m sorry? I didn’t really want to interrupt, um… it sounded serious.”

“It was.” Hyunjin said. When he and Jeongin looked at each other, they both looked hurt. Really hurt. Seungmin wanted to help, but he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to take sides, but he didn’t want to do nothing, either.

What a predicament.

“Why don’t we all talk about it?” Seungmin suggested. Jeongin started to protest, but Seungmin interjected gently, “I know you don’t want to, but isn’t talking better than letting all of this build up into even more anger? You don’t want to fight again, right?”

“I guess.” Jeongin muttered. He walked over to the bed and flopped down on it, hugging a pillow to his chest. Hyunjin and Seungmin walked over and sat down, both facing Jeongin. Jeongin didn’t look at them; he rolled onto his back, with his eyes trained on the ceiling, and tears rolled down his cheek as he explained: “I’m being bullied a lot. But it’s fine. I can _handle it_. I know you want to help, Hyunjin, but I don’t want you involved, and I don’t want to repeat the things they say. I’m sorry.”

“Innie.” Hyunjin said. He shifted a bit, and laid down against Jeongin, chest against the pillow he was holding. Jeongin looked at him, and his face finally contorted to match the way tears rolled down his cheeks. Hyunjin brushed his fingers over Jeongin’s cheeks, “It’s okay, but please promise to remember that I’m here for you, okay? That you don’t have to worry about being embarrassed, or ashamed. Please talk to me, even if you just tell me ‘I had a rough day’. I want to know because I care about you. I want to comfort you even if I don’t know the details.”

Jeongin nodded -- hated to talk when his tears got the best of him. Hyunjin leaned forward, and kissed him softly, and the two of them started to talk lowly, likely making their apologies as Hyunjin did his best to comfort Jeongin through his tears -- as Jeongin brushed his own shaky fingers against Hyunjin’s cheeks to rid them of the same sad droplets. Seungmin watched them, admired them, until they remembered he was there, and invited him into the slightly awkward, makeshift cuddle pile they had created. Seungmin wedged himself under Hyunjin’s legs and over Jeongin’s shoulder, and they both laughed as he tried to make himself comfortable. He said, “See? Now that argument doesn’t have to happen again,” when he was all settled, and Jeongin and Hyunjin both chuckled, and thanked him for making things easy.

_Making things easy_. Seungmin took some pride in that.

☁

“Oh my _God_ , get off of me you _oaf_ , you’re going to wake Seungmin up and then I’m going to yell at you again.”

“See, if you yell, you’ll definitely wake up Seungmin--”

“He’ll already _be_ awake if you don’t stop _squirming around_ and trying to tickle me-- I’ll literally cut your fingers off-- _oh my God!_ \-- I hate you-- I’ll push you off this bed-- I know where to hide your body--”

Jeongin’s little flail against whatever it was that Hyunjin was doing resulted in him kicking Seungmin, and that’s what finally woke Seungmin up from his half-awake half-asleep state. He caught up pretty quickly, given that his sleep-dazed mind had absorbed about half of Hyunjin and Jeongin’s play fight. Jeongin squirmed as Hyunjin tickled him. He noticed Seungmin woke up just moments after Seungmin opened his eyes, and he smacked Hyunjin’s chest, “See what you did?”

“Good morning, Minnie.” Hyunjin beamed. He had Jeongin’s arms pinned, now, and he smirked, evil, and tilted his head in Jeongin’s direction, “Care to join me?”

Tickling Jeongin turned out to be one of the best morning activities Seungmin could think of, even if Jeongin sulked and ranted about hating both of them for at least five minutes after they finally let up.

“Your phone’s been buzzing, by the way.” Hyunjin said, his upper body stuffed halfway into the closet, so his voice was muffled, and he gave absolutely no indication who he was talking to. Seungmin looked back at Jeongin, who looked just as confused. Jeongin met Seungmin’s eyes for a moment, and he took the initiative, “Who are you talking to?”

“Seungmin, obviously. No one texts you.”

“ _Paint bucket_.” Jeongin said (always a master of name-calling), kicking the back of Hyunjin’s leg so his knee buckled. He shrieked, and reached behind him to try to hit Jeongin’s hip, but Jeongin backed up quickly. In the meantime, Seungmin went for his phone, and saw a few texts from Jisung, who was asking him if they could meet at lunch and study today. Five minutes later, he cancelled, telling Seungmin sorry, but that Changbin really wanted to work on their project during lunch. He also told Seungmin to have a good day and that they could schedule another study date during lunch another day, if he wanted.

“Do you two have plans for lunch today?” Seungmin asked as he messaged Jisung back. For a moment, no response; then, Hyunjin stood up straight, with a wrinkled flannel in his hand, and said, “Yeah, we’re going to the off-campus library to work on our midterm papers. We probably won’t eat, but you can join us, if you want.”

“Is it a date?” Seungmin asked, gesturing between the two of them. Jeongin rolled his eyes, “You know you’re always invited to our dates. But, no, it’s not a _date_ , we’re just going to get some work done.”

“You think Hyunjin will let you focus?” Seungmin snorted. Hyunjin whined, and Jeongin shrugged, “I’m always up for a challenge. Join us, please, maybe you can take some of his attention from me.”

“As if. He’s in love with you.” Seungmin said. For some reason, as soon as the words were out of his mouth, they came back to battle his heart, and it hurt. Sometimes, when he was hanging out with Hyunjin and Jeongin, he could almost forget that the two of them had fallen in love, and had left him behind. The three of them were so close, and always had been, and it was just so easy to insert himself into their perfect picture. But he always had to withdraw.

Just as Hyunjin was getting his shoes on, Jeongin’s roommate entered the room, looking a little messy. He jumped when he saw three people in his room, but he smiled fondly, easily recognizing Hyunjin and Seungmin: “Hi, good morning.”

“You look _awful_ , Minho, are you okay?” Jeongin chuckled. Minho was the party type -- no classes on Friday, always out on Thursday nights. Jeongin said he took school quite seriously, but only for four days out of the week, which Seungmin had always admired. He was a little too anxious to let schoolwork slip from his mind for more than a day at a time. In fact, all the time he hadn’t spent studying last night was starting to weigh on him, but he could ignore it in the meantime.

“Chan throws crazy parties,” was Minho’s only explanation. He reached into his bag for something, and tossed a little coin in Jeongin’s direction, “I found that by his pool, though. I know you like to collect coins.”

“Whoa! You’re the best, thank you!” Jeongin said. Minho chuckled, “No problem. I’m going for a shower -- any of you need the bathroom?”

“No thanks, Min, we’re heading out. Have a good day, get some rest!” Jeongin said, and Minho disappeared into the bathroom, wishing all three of them a good day as well. Hyunjin scrunched up his nose, “Does he ever offer to take you to parties?”

“No, and I wouldn’t go, anyway, you overprotective leaf.” Jeongin said. He leaned back into Hyunjin, while Seungmin mouthed to him, _Leaf?_ , and Hyunjin just shook his head, laughing silently in amusement. Seungmin tuned the two of them out as Jeongin started to talk to Hyunjin about the coin Minho had found for him. He heard something about disinfecting it from Hyunjin, and something else about it being so shiny for having been on the ground from Jeongin, but Seungmin was busy pulling on his shoes and throwing his earphones in for a run-through of his Day6 playlist before class started.

“Seungmin! Want me to drive you up the hill?” Hyunjin asked. Seungmin considered it, but, no: “I want my walk time with Day6.”

“Nerd.” Hyunjin said. He hugged Seungmin, told him to have a good day, and Jeongin did the same. Seungmin left the lovebirds behind, and wished he had the heart to skip a Day6 song, for _When You Love Someone_ came on shuffle, and all he could think about, again, was how he always had to walk out of Hyunjin and Jeongin’s perfect picture.

☁

Seungmin couldn’t say that his whole Hyunjin and Jeongin situation ruined his days, as much as he wanted to be dramatic and rant to Jisung about how they were always on his mind and they completely distracted him from everything he did. They really didn’t. Sometimes, their relationship fell to the back of his head as he powered through his Literature classes with all the passion he had to give, as he wrote short stories in under thirty minutes, and poems in under five. His Timed Creative Writing class had always been his favorite; when he was under pressure like that, he could take the first idea that came to his head and roll with it. He wrote a poem about what it felt like to wear an orange flannel in autumn, to blend in with the leaves and fall with them -- whether that meant falling in love, falling out of love, falling into good fortune, falling out of touch with reality. Autumn was all about falling, but the colors kept people steady, so, as long as the oranges and yellows and browns were around, everyone would fall on their feet.

Seungmin realized, when he met Jeongin and Hyunjin in the library for lunch, that the flannel Hyunjin had picked from his closet that morning was orange, and he texted Jisung _I hate Hyunjin with every fiber of my being_ just to vent a little.

“You, Hyunjin, and Jeongin are driving me out of my mind.” Jisung said, draping himself over Seungmin’s back. It was midnight, and Seungmin had just returned to their shared dorm room with _way_ too much energy. He had woken Jisung up out of a dead sleep to rant about how Jeongin randomly asked what it would be like if all three of them were in a relationship. Seungmin had gotten a spike of fear in his heart, thinking about how Hyunjin would react to that, and wondering if, somehow, Jeongin found out that Seungmin had feelings for both of them, or if Jeongin suspected anything. Then, Hyunjin had laughed, and said: “We practically already are,” and Seungmin’s heart started to beat out of his chest. He gathered all of his things and ran away like a coward, rambling about how he had to go study and he would see them soon, maybe after midterms. Jisung pouted, and tried not to laugh, “You are hopeless.”

“Why would he say something like that!” Seungmin flailed his arms, “Why would either one of them say something like that! I almost had a heart attack right there on the floor, Jisung. You know what’s worse? Minho had two guys over today and they were all flirting and laughing -- what if they’re in a relationship? It looked like they were!”

“Was one of them Chan?” Jisung asked. Seungmin had to think about who the hell Chan was for a second before he sort of recalled his face, “I think? Minho called him Chris.”

“Oh, yeah. Minho and Chan definitely have a thing. I don’t know if they’re together or not, but they’re definitely super clingy and they should make their relationship official already.” Jisung said. Seungmin groaned, and flopped face-first into Jisung’s warm pillow, killing any chance Jisung had of laying back down for the time being. “I hate relationships.”

“At least you know that Hyunjin and Jeongin aren’t opposed to the idea of being with you.” Jisung said. Seungmin turned over, “But… what if it wouldn’t work out? What if feelings get really complicated and one of us starts feeling left out. What if it’s _me_ , and then I start to resent them for loving each other more than they love me, and I lose my best friends just because I wanted to date them?”

Jisung softly pet Seungmin’s head for a moment, and then he smacked the back of it, “ _Stop that_. You get so into your head.”

“For good reason.” Seungmin pouted, rubbing the back of his head. Jisung laughed a little at the expression on his face, but he went serious again in a moment, trying to convince Seungmin that “Hyunjin and Jeongin are your people. You’ll sort out anything that goes wrong, you know that.”

“But what if--?”

“ _What if_ ’s are for losers and scientists. Are you a loser or a scientist?”

“No, but--”

“Then let’s talk about this in the morning.” Jisung said. He settled back in bed, draping his arm over Seungmin, “Also, you’re my pillow for tonight. That’s what you get for waking me up.”

Seungmin would usually complain, but he kind of liked the feeling of being held after ripping himself out of Hyunjin and Jeongin’s arms so violently about half an hour ago. He resigned to sleep for the night, drifting off to the sound of Jisung’s steady breathing.

☁

For about a week surrounding midterm season, Seungmin’s life was particularly calm. No random polyamorous relationships filtered into his peripheral vision from Jeongin’s bed, no fights between Hyunjin and Jeongin (perhaps…? Seungmin tried to pretend he wasn’t completely avoiding Hyunjin and Jeongin; he wasn’t; (he was in denial); no, seriously, he wasn’t avoiding them, he’d just been busy with his studies, seriously), no exceptionally mean or demanding customers -- Jisung even stopped pestering him about his love for Hyunjin and Jeongin. Everything was so _serene_ , and maybe a little lonely, but Seungmin figured his autumn-going-on-winter fall was into good fortune anyways, just like his favorite poem to date had explained.

Then, Seungmin was walking through the halls of the Music Building to see if he could find Jeongin and return the raincoat he’d borrowed about three weeks back (totally not for an excuse to talk to him after avoiding him and Hyunjin for a week), and he saw two people kissing at the end of an empty hallway. He looked away quickly, but he did a double-take, and gawked for a minute, because he recognized those two people. One was Felix, but the other person was _not_ Jisung. Even worse, that person wasn’t a stranger, either; Seungmin was 99% sure that was Seo Changbin attached to Felix’s lips.

It was too early for this, Seungmin decided. He spun as fast as his heel would let him, and he made a beeline for the library. He texted Jisung: _need you. library. NOW_. He was surprised when he got to the library and Jisung was already there, pacing around the doorway. He rushed, breathless, to Seungmin when he spotted him, and he looked so concerned, his tone so worried -- "Are you okay?" -- and Seungmin felt a rush of emotions for his best friend. Jisung was too good. He was too caring, too selfless, and he didn't deserve this.

"Jisung," Seungmin said. Should he even say it? He had to; he _had to_. Jisung draped an arm over Seungmin's waist, guiding him, "Sit with me; you look like you saw a ghost. What's wrong?"

"I definitely saw something unbelievable." Seungmin muttered. He and Jisung sat in the back of the library. They were still close to other students, but, if Seungmin was quiet enough, no one would hear what he had to tell Jisung. It took him a few moments to gain the courage -- as well as to formulate the words he wanted -- to speak, but Jisung was patient with him-- held his hand and waited, and Jisung _didn't deserve this_.

"Jisung, I saw Felix and Changbin kissing in the hallway a few minutes ago." Seungmin said. Jisung blinked a few times. Seungmin didn't know what to expect, because he’d never seen Jisung hurt before. Would Jisung cry? Would he get angry? He could imagine Jisung being disappointed, for the most part, and maybe tearing up. He would bet Jisung would be so confused, and so unbelieving. He wondered, for a moment, if Jisung _wouldn't_ believe him.

None of that happened, though -- no single one, nor a mix of them, like Seungmin had begun to imagine. Rather, Jisung started to laugh, his hand coming up to cover his mouth as he snorted around his amusement.

Seungmin thought he'd gone nuts. One of them must have gone insane in that moment; the complications of a love life and stress of a (potential) relationship drove one of them completely _mad_. Except, Jisung stopped laughing, and squeezed Seungmin's hand, and told him, "Seungmin, I think I should tell you something about Felix, Changbin, and I," and Seungmin wondered what he had missed.

"All three of us are in a relationship."

Seungmin was one more polyamorous relationship away from moving out of the country. His jaw dropped, and he asked, " _What?_ " and the volume of his voice was about to get them kicked out of the library. He was conscious enough to quiet down before hissing out his next words, "All three of you are in a relationship?"

"We didn't want anyone to know. Even you, I'm sorry." Jisung said. He tapped his fingers against Seungmin's, as he still had Seungmin's hand in his grip. Seungmin pulled it away, though, "You didn't tell me? I mean, I respect that, Jisung, just… _what?_ "

"I'm sorry." Jisung said. He still had a chuckle about his breath, "Forgive me?"

"How long have you three been together? Are you happy? Is it working?" Seungmin asked all at once. Jisung smiled a little bit -- more bashful talking about his relationship with Felix _and_ Changbin than he was about just Felix, "It's been almost a year now. We're really happy, and it's working really well. Usually those two are a little better about not _kissing in public_ , but...."

"Wait, the whole school thinks you and Felix are together." Seungmin said. Jisung nodded, and Seungmin was so-- confused--? "And Changbin doesn't mind?"

"No. Felix and I got together before he joined us, and since the two of us were pretty open about our relationship before him, he didn't mind being the... I don't know. We call him a _secret lover_ , but that's a little... we don't use it in a bad way. Like, that sounds _so_ bad, but we call him-- like-- a spy. Almost? Still sounds bad. I promise, we're all happy."

"I get it, Jisung," Seungmin said softly, laughing. He didn't actually _get it_ , but he understood that it must have been an inside joke for the three lovers. Suddenly, though, he was thinking about Hyunjin and Jeongin, and he slumped against the table, his head hidden by his arms. Jisung immediately knew what was on his mind, and rubbed Seungmin's back, "You have proof now, Minnie, that a relationship with more than two people would work out. You could go confess to them--"

"But you, Felix, and Changbin are you, Felix, and Changbin. Hyunjin, Jeongin, and I are Hyunjin, Jeongin, and I." Seungmin said. Jisung was silent for a moment; Seungmin could practically hear his mind reeling, trying to interpret what exactly Seungmin just said. Seungmin sat up, and looked at him, "You have a happy relationship, Jisung. I don't know that I would be able to have the same thing."

"I think you will." Jisung said, holding his hands up in defense when Seungmin started again, "But! That's just me. I _know_ it's just an opinion. But you won't know what Hyunjin and Jeongin think until you ask them. I know _you_ think it might not work out, but, who knows? They might give you the little bit of courage you need."

"You know what's scary?" Seungmin started, "I think, maybe, we _could_ work out, but I wonder if that's false hope, or wishful thinking. I wonder if I'm stupid for thinking I could be in a happy relationship with two other boys."

"They're willing to try, and all you can do is try." Jisung said. Seungmin nodded, and he fell against Jisung's side, holding his waist loosely, "Thank you."

“Thank you for ratting out Felix to me.” Jisung laughed. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you. Oh, I have to tell them you know.”

“I can pretend I don’t, if you need me to.” Seungmin said. He didn’t move, too content laying against Jisung to sit up straight again. Jisung protested Seungmin’s idea, “No, no, I’ll be honest with them. They won’t be upset, especially when I pick on them for getting caught.”

Seungmin let his hope bleed out into the open, “Double date with our boyfriends when we have everything sorted out?”

Jisung beamed, “I’ll let Changbin and Felix know.”

☁

“Kim Seungmin! I’ve been missing you a lot this past week. Can you come over?” Hyunjin asked, and he had sounded so damn casual over the phone that Seungmin fell for it. He had gone over to Hyunjin’s apartment, and he had fallen right into place on Hyunjin’s bed. Jeongin was there, too, as Seungmin expected, and nothing seemed off. Nothing seemed different.

Then, Hyunjin said, “Jeongin and I want to talk to you,” and Seungmin felt his stomach drop to his feet.

Somehow, Seungmin knew that Hyunjin and Jeongin knew. It was the way they were looking at him, and the way their fingers were tapping against each other’s, and the way they were leaning into each other — their attention stuck on Seungmin, and only unconsciously on each other. Seungmin started with, “I’m sorry,” and Jeongin frowned, “Why?”

Seungmin licked his lips. It was stupid for him to assume that they knew because what if they didn’t know? He asked, “Talk about what?”

Jeongin let the apology slide, for the time being, and asked: “Do you have feelings for us?”

 _Shit_. Seungmin felt awful. His stomach flipped and his heart raced and he could only think one thing: “Did Jisung tell you?”

“What?” Jeongin asked. Hyunjin laughed, “No, Minnie, Jisung didn’t tell us. We just pick up on things sometimes. Well. Mostly Jeongin.”

“Ah.” Seungmin said, a little too focused on how _Hyunjin and Jeongin know_ to laugh at Hyunjin’s self-deprecating joke. He heard Felix’s voice in his head -- _Be brave, Min_ \-- and Jisung’s -- _You just need a little bit of courage_ \-- and he admitted it: “Yes. I do. I have feelings for both of you.”

Jeongin and Hyunjin gathered Seungmin between them -- Jeongin, laughing, and Hyunjin, speaking, but neither of them could hear him over Jeongin’s joy and Seungmin’s nervous breathing.

“We love you _so_ much, Minnie.” Hyunjin said, getting Jeongin to quiet down for a moment. Seungmin liked that Hyunjin and Jeongin kept holding him, as his face was _burning_ , for some reason. He didn’t feel that embarrassed, or shy, but he was sure he was red as a tomato.

“Will you be our boyfriend?” Jeongin asked, pulling back and immediately bursting into laughter. He placed his hands on Seungmin’s cheeks: “I’ve never seen you more red in my life!”

Hyunjin looked, and he started to laugh, too. Seungmin patted Jeongin’s hands away and took to hiding his face from them, muttering into his palms: “Making fun of your boyfriend isn’t very nice.”

“So you will? You’ll be ours?” Hyunjin asked, quieting his laugh just enough for his words to outweigh it. Seungmin just nodded, and Hyunjin and Jeongin excitedly began to kiss his hands; and he wanted to drop them so they could actually kiss his cheeks instead, but he was too embarrassed.

“You know,” Seungmin said, hoping the idea that had popped into his head would take some attention off of him: “Jisung and Felix are in a relationship with Changbin, too. Jisung agreed to a double date with the six of us, he just has to tell Felix and Changbin.”

“Double date!” Hyunjin exclaimed, while Jeongin rolled his eyes, “Dirty snow, all of you.”

Seungmin snorted. “You could just call us losers, you know. Your name-calling is so strange.”

Jeongin shrugged, and he took Seungmin’s first kiss -- brief, and sweet: “Get used to it, boyfriend.”


End file.
